


Unrequited Love?

by Light_Mage



Series: Adrian's AU Adventures in Thedas. [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Being Lost, Best Friends, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Cullen Rutherford, Bisexual Male Character, Closeted Character, Dark, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Idiots in Love, Light Magic, Love Triangles, Lyrium Withdrawal, M/M, Magic, Male Friendship, Modern Boy in Thedas, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Swearing, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, World Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21680356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Light_Mage/pseuds/Light_Mage
Summary: Spending nearly five or two years... 'counts who you ask', lost on the quite horrifying medieval world known as Thedas. Has Adrian, a young Australian man with a unique magical gift and heart of kindness, heartbroken.The mix signals he has repeatedly received from his close friend. The Inquisitions Commander, Cullen Stanton Rutherford, regarding his more than friendly feelings, has reached his limit. And having the 'sweet' Inquisitor, Quinn Trevelyan. Shoving her thoughts and possessive nature in his face regarding her new relationship with the Commander is making things oh so much worse.'When did life become so hard?'
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Cullen Rutherford/Original Male Character(s), Dorian Pavus/Original Male Character(s), Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus
Series: Adrian's AU Adventures in Thedas. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562899
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Unrequited Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So sorry it’s been a long time since I’ve posted something! The last few months have been very busy as a University student! But now that I’m on Christmas holidays, I’m back in the game! 
> 
> I decided to write a one-shot AU of my AU Dragon Age Fanfiction called “Foreigners and Templars”. I’m excited to share this mini-story with you guys! I was so excited to head into Dragon Age Inquisition plots, I just had to make a mini AU of my AU, ha-ha!
> 
> FYI there are some spoilers my main fic will be revealing very soon regarding some of the plots you will see in this one-shot. If you don’t wish to be semi-spoiled, I suggest you read my main fanfic first! 
> 
> That story can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12852621/chapters/29350734 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter! I had a lot of fun writing and exploring new characters and writing in new styles! Including my first ever kiss scene. 
> 
> Thanks to all the followers, comments and kudos so far as well! They mean so much to me. Any recommendations for improving my writing or storytelling would be much appreciated. FYI I am a new fanfic writer so... I might not be the best in the world ^^;
> 
> \- Light Mage

_Making the ‘tough’ Commander of the Inquisition’s army blush like a thirteen-year-old boy with a vibrant red hue erupting over his handsome pale complexion. Was something Adrian not only found was easy to do but loved to do in his spare time around Skyhold’s expansive yet breezy gardens._

_Well… used to._

* * *

Being ignored, talked to in the same juvenile manner repeatedly and completely judged for bigoted reasons daily to the point of normalisation. Had Adrian spending most of his free time with the complicated, tall, well-built and delightful Commander or better known to Adrian as his knight in shining armour ‘ _friend’_ , Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford.

They usually found themselves either playing chess, _‘Thedas Chess,’_ as Adrian liked to call it, walking around the chilling grounds, reminiscing past moments in Kirkwall and having tea in his warm lit tower in the frosty evenings which lead to all kinds of conversations.

These daily or used to be daily ‘ _hangouts’_ , helped not only with his sanity but mental wellbeing in his unnatural situation.

Adrian did not have many friends he could trust completely in this dark medieval world. He could barely count them all on just his right hand alone. And being able to form a close friendship, or ‘ _was’_ a close friendship in these struggling times meant everything to him. Now it just drove Adrian up the wall in annoyance and rage.

What infuriated him recently, was Cullen’s overlooked flirtatious, touchy conversations with the one and an only brunet drama queen, the ‘ _Herald of Andraste’._ Aka, the gorgeous, pretty, beautiful woman who was badass, cocky, rude, selfish, ambitious and known to him… in his head, as the _‘Inquisitor Bitch’_ Quinn Trevelyan.

Everyone loved her, worshipped her, bowed at her feet and screamed her name in prayer as if she was the ‘ _Maker’_ herself. And most of all, they wanted to be with her… ‘ _romantically_ ’. Even if she treated certain individuals with poor taste and unfair judgement for unknown reasons, as she walked and ran from mission to mission, daily.

Adrian, sadly, was on that ‘ _shitty’_ list of hers.

This annoyed Adrian to no end as he wished for nothing more than for ‘ _Ser’_ Rutherford to look his way with those charming smiles and glossy googly warm honey irises. Just like he used too… but time and distance can strain even the strongest of friendships. And having a beautiful leader who did _‘no wrong, what so ever’_ in the eyes of the public, just made it worse.

Now he looked her way with those warm eyes and shy smiles, and in that process, shattered Adrian’s trust and heart into tiny pieces.

This ‘ _close’_ friendship of theirs that many others saw as unbreakable was not always as close as it appeared. A few years ago, Adrian and Cullen were at each other’s throats, mentally and physically. Being an unusual alien mage from another planet pissed off the once Templar Knight-Captain of Kirkwall with his salty, rude, discriminatory remarks and unfair bias against mages. This changed over time, just as their untrusting acquaintanceship turned into a trustful one, and then a close bond. A bond that can only form through unforgiving dim experiences they shared together.

This was the state of mind Adrian found himself in. Once again thinking of the past and present simultaneously with ‘ _what if’s?’_ and ‘ _what could I have done differently?’_ thoughts.

* * *

 _**Location: Skyhold, Frostback Mountains, Thedas - Present** _ _  
**Time: 10:27 am**   
**Date: 5th Pluitanis 9:42 Dragon** _

* * *

Taking in a deep sigh as he leant across the creaky ancient windowsill, Adrian again rolled his blue-grey eyes at the view taking place down in the frosty courtyard below him.

_And there they are again… Commander ‘ding dong head’ and the ‘precious’ Inquisitor playing chess… for the third time today._

_Ugh… I’m going to be sick if she touches his thigh again…_ Adrian thought with jealousy.

“Adrian, my, my what’s got you tensely distracted this _delightful_ morning? More dashing muscular men flinging themselves at you?”

A strong accented masculine voice rich in deepness and sass penetrated Adrian’s comfort zone. Shattering his jealous thoughts and replacing them with shyness at being caught.

“Oh wait, or was it the other way around? A little lap dog…No? Oh! No, I’m mistaken, it’s more comparable to say you have become a little rodent hiding away in your burrow, while you drool over-”

The smart sass was cut short as Adrian whipped his head and body around, away from the windowsill and towards the man behind him. Slamming his borrowed book shut, he stared into his other close friend’s hazel glossy eyes with annoyance.

“Dorian… will you stop sneaking up on me and being annoying for once?” Adrian stated harshly.

“I’m trying to read this interesting tome on ancient elven magics which could be the key for me to get home, and I could really use the peace and quiet of this ‘ _library’_. I’m pretty sure the being quiet in a library rule is also a thing in this world, no?” He angrily whispered in Dorian’s direction with his arms crossed, a pouty face expressed vividly as day.

Dorian laughed as he held his stomach for support while he sat across from Adrian, his rich warm laugh making Adrian drop his angry façade with a short smile. He could never be angry for long around Dorian.

“Ah, that’s more I like it! There is nothing better and brighter in all of Skyhold! Well… maybe besides my hidden wine stash of course…” Dorian whispered back with a flirty smirk and a wink in toe.

Rolling his eyes again at Dorian’s ‘interesting’ logic, Adrian propped himself back into his spot and snuggled into the brown, fluffy druffelo blanket on the library’s loveseat. Which, over the last month, had become his, as Adrian was always found snuggling into it.

Doing so, he questioned Dorian’s weird entrance with a smirk and a risen brown eyebrow.

“So, what is Mr. ‘ _yelled out loud’_ , going to get smashed drunk and ride the Bull’s ‘D’ aggressively I might add, last night. Doing in the library at around… I don’t know… ten am?” He air-quoted the “D” to exaggerate the innuendo.

Flushed as red as Solas’s red paint downstairs with his arms crossed, Dorian scoffed in irritation with his nose pointing towards the ceiling in an exasperated manner.

“ _Kaffas (Shit)_ … I did not _ride_ Ironbull’s ‘ _dick’_ last night...” Dorian whispered in frustration and embarrassment, wanking the air with his right hand to mimic a penis being touched to defuse his blushing cheeks.

“I might also add that I did not even sleep with him nor touch him! I was ‘ _drunk’_ and said some words expressing some… ah… interesting colourful thoughts I did not mean to express out loud to you gossiping little ‘ _children’_.”

Taking in a deep calming breath, Dorian looked back into Adrian’s eyes with a glint of enjoyment and continued.

“Now don’t you backfire this ‘ _lovely’_ conversation onto my handsome self, today is about figuring out why you are sitting in this library on such an attractive winter’s day all mopey.” 

“Well, I- “

“Na, ah, did I say you could begin expressing your deepest darkest secrets?” Dorian started twirling his finger through his _perfectly_ styled black moustache, cutting Adrian off watching him blink in shock with his mouth open in the shape on an “o”.

And so, he continued.

“No, I didn’t, so let me begin with the obvious. Why are you sulking like a little youngster who received a rotten present on Wintersend? Hiding in here as if someone broke your heart while Ser Commander idiot who ‘ _wants to touch your tongue with his and grind on your adorable flexible body against the nearest stable stonewall’_ is out there looking all lost and confused?”

Dorian stated confidently as if this was common sense.

Shaking his head, Adrian groaned, embarrassed at the descriptive dirty envision Dorian painted with his words.

“ _Dorian_ … - “

“Don’t you start ‘ _Dorian-ing’_ me. Tell me! Why are you not out there fighting for your handsome knight? Win his heart! I know you two are closer than your letting on.”

Blushing crimson. Adrian held his head in his hands and mumbled quietly.

“What was that? Repeat those words so my glorious ears can hear your sweet truths.”

“We are just close friends Dorian, nothing more. Will you stop this-“

Interrupting him again, Dorian continued his investigation.

“Stop lying to my face Adrian, we and most importantly I can see something happened recently and it’s turned you into a hiding mess, so spit it out.”

Sighing loudly in an irritated tone, Adrian erected his entire body swiftly off the loveseat angrily and yelled at Dorian, finally spilling the truth after months of probing, chaotically.

“You know what, fine! You want to finally know why I’m in here!? Why I feel alone!? Why I feel misused!? Alienated and heartbroken!? This entire freaking stupid world of yours is actually FUCKED! I HATE IT! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! Today is a hard day for me and no one seems to care! Which completely ties into my next annoyance! The second I arrived here, I’ve been used, abused, treated like a farm animal, locked up and worse! I just want to go home where my family and friends are! Where I’m safe, loved and treated like a normal FUCKING HUMAN BEING! I’m so sick and tired of everyone treating me like I’m nothing! Like I’m useless and frightening and could become a demonic monster every time I breathe or let my magic loose! I’m so tired of the public looking down at me as if I’m a dumb child because I don’t understand this vile world, Dorian! I don’t think I will ever see my home again, and everyone just expects me to just agree to that? Why!?”

Adrian quickly placed his head into his hands feeling guilt ramble through his entire body for yelling his deepest views as tears reached the brink of his eyes.

Taking large lung filling breaths only helped for a few flighting moments, before a warm solid mass of large muscular arms wrapped around his small waist and back. This warm act of kindness burst every single emotional toil Adrian held down over the last few months.

Sobbing loudly with complete sadness, Adrian held onto Dorian as if he was life himself, his tears creating large wet spots over Dorian’s murky brown cloak as he shook with an aching heart.

“Shhh… I did not mean to make you this livid, I’m so regretful.”

He whispered with a warm accented manner into Adrian’s light brown hair, full of remorse and compassion. He rubbed calming warm circular motions along Adrian’s back hoping to calm him down, bringing them even closer.

“Adrian you must listen to me, I know you have had a hard time here, more than any other person I know. Being dragged from your own perspective of life to this hell hole. I’m so sorry my world has treated you with disrespect and violent mistreatments. I wish I could change it all, but if there is one thing that’s true, even with all this darkness you have experienced. You still shine bright and pure with goodness in your heart. You smile, you laugh, and you help others before you help yourself with nothing in return… your magic is proof of that, it’s light just like your heart. I’m so proud of you.”

Taking in another deep breath and sniffing his nose while red-faced at the closeness they shared and the words that were expressed. Adrian smiled as his eyes shined with many complex emotions running across them.

“Thank you, Dorian, I needed that emotional release and I also needed to hear that… it’s been a long time since I had a long hug…” Breathing while shaking his head in annoyance with himself, Adrian decided to state the main reason behind his sour mood to Dorian’s question.

“Dorian, I never truly answered your question with all the mumbo jumbo… and I think it’s time I stop hiding the truth.”

Letting himself go and feeling cold without the comforting warmth of Dorian’s embrace. Adrian moved a few steps backwards, taking in a large gasp of air before continuing the conversation.

“The main reason I’m up here and not down there… well, I have a few reasons. Firstly, Cullen is obviously head over heels with our ‘ _lovely’_ Inquisitor.

Secondly, I thought we shared something more than friendship… I guess I was mistaken, to be fair… maybe he’s just not into me? If that’s the case, then this is my own fault for being stupid...”

Shaking his head slightly to remove the depressing thoughts out of his thoughts, Adrian continued.

“Thirdly… I’m not too sure how to state this, but Quinn is not as pleasant as she comes across. She’s secretly super clingy, aggressive, rude and downright possessive. The thing’s she said to me last night and at the Winter Palace ball three weeks ago… I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore Dorian.”

Adrian said hurriedly, looking down at the wooden floorboards as if they were an escape route.

Dorian watched in concern as Adrian’s complexion warped from his natural pale appearance into a sickly pale one. 

“I don’t think so, Adrian, look at me, what did she say?” He said, grabbing Adrian’s face into is soft caring hands. “I know for one that she’s not the picture-perfect religious figure everyone makes her out to be, but it can’t have been that bad? Surly?”

Dorian tried to question with a positive outlook, but this riled Adrian even further.

Groaning in an annoyed tone and moving out of Dorian’s hands, Adrian stated the truth.

“See that’s what I mean! Everyone thinks she does nothing wrong! Or if she does, they sugar-coat it!”

“Sugar-coat… it?” Dorian asked in confusion, one dark eyebrow higher than the other.

“What don’t you…? Oh, umm.” Adrian sighed in irritation, crossing his arms to make himself feel more comfortable.

“Sugar-coat it, it’s just a phrase of suggesting, trying to make something appear more pleasant or acceptable or sweeter than it truly is? Anyway, enough about confusing Earth English. She’s downright malicious! She cornered me last night after the wicked grace match and threatened me to back off or else…”

Adrian stopped mid-sentence eyes nervously wide as he looked around the room cautiously for others before continuing the conversation in a panicked whispering state.

“Or else… I would be removed from the Inquisition! Dorian, I can’t say anymore! This is… this is all I have here! If she kicks me out… I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d go!? It’s not safe out there in the wilderness!”

Adrian shivered in dread.

“Adrian, listen to me, I will not let anything happen to you, I’m sure the others and even Cullen would agree with me, she will not exile you. You are essential to the Inquisition… you are family, understand?”

Dorian suggested so honestly, it shocked Adrian to his core.

Eyes wide open in shock at hearing the word ‘ _family’_ used in such a way, Adrian nodded, emotions radiating out of his body as he continued telling Dorian about the threat he received.

“She… well, she specifically stated that no one in Thedas or ‘ _whatever darn realm I’m from’_ could ever love someone like me. Basically, she called me ugly, short, unlovable and vile… which is all true...”

“EXCUSE ME!?” Dorian roared, pure anger visible across his entire face, his eyebrows were crunched together while his warm hazel eyes which usually protruded warmth and excitement were completely shrouded in darkness.

Stepping back a notch in shock, Adrian tried to calm down the situation as they were in the library.

“Dorian we can’t yell in the – “

“NO! DO NOT DORIAN ME!” Dorian shouted as he grabbed the shorter man’s face with his large smooth hands again to keep him in place.

“How dare she say those things to you! Has she met you!? You are the kindest most precious little human I know! You are grateful even when you shouldn’t be, you brighten every room you enter, you’re funny, sensitive and exude pure love and happiness! You bring light to this dim world of ours and I say she is a buffoon! A pure jealous buffoon whose taking out her frustrations and childish mannerisms onto you!”

Blushing completely red, Adrian smiled with pure delight across his face.

“Dorian… I don’t know what to say… no one has ever said such kind words to me before in such a way, that was really sweet… are you sure?”

“AM I SURE, HE ASKS!? Have you looked in a mirror recently? You are stunning! You are mysterious and unique! Any person in bloody who cares where are not worthy of you! Do you understand? If I wasn’t trying to ride the Bull, I’d definitely give you a shot.”

Dorian said with a slow smile and a sparkly wink to prove his truthful statement.

Adrian jaw dropped in complete shock, his face as red as the flame which blazed heat into the chilly library right behind them in the stone-built fireplace.

“What…? Umm… What did you just say?”

Adrian stuttered in surprise, blinking a few times in his confused flushed mess.

Laughing, Dorian smiled as he licked his plump lips, his warm eyes shining brightly with a glint of mischief in them as leant forward. Turning his face slightly with a fast pace not giving Adrian the chance to process his next mission, capturing Adrian’s warm soft lips with his.

Blue-grey eyes wide open in complete surprise as Dorian’s warm lips moved along his own. Adrian's heart skipped multiple beats as Dorian’s right hand softly cupped the side of his jaw while his left played with the hairs at the back of his neck, his short nails scratching just behind his ear, making him unintentionally moan into the unexpected kiss.

This seemed to give Dorian an ego boost, encouraging him to take the simple lips upon lips kiss to another intimate level.

Adrian closed his eyes as his smaller body melded into the warm embrace of the larger man’s. Dorian wrapped his right strong arm around Adrian’s entire waist bringing their chests together as one, while simultaneously tracing Adrian’s soft fresh plump lips with this warm wet tongue.

Breathing deeply with his nose as the hairs on Dorian’s moustache itched pleasantly along his mouth. The soft smell of floral perfume and what smelt like aftershave hit Adrian like a full force bullet train. In one sweep, Adrian pushed Dorian out of his personal space before this kiss got more heated in complete shock.

“What… the actual hell Dorian!? You can’t just… kiss someone unexpectedly!?” Adrian yelled in a stuttered flustered surprise, trying to process what his friend just did.

Smiling as if he received a whole barrow of old expensive wine, Dorian laughed spinning Adrian around the library like a crazy individual.

 _Oh my god, he’s actually lost it._ Adrian thought as his mind tried to still comprehend what had just occurred not even a minute ago.

 _Did Dorian just kiss me? And did I actually enjoy it? Oh, hell no, this needs to stop now!_ Adrian’s conscious yelled.

“Dorian! What the hell are you doing!? Stop for a moment!” Adrian scuffled, pulling his arms from Dorian’s with a quick swipe of his body.

“Enough of this!? Why did you just… kiss me?”

Finally stopping and becoming serious, he answered with a loud dramatic sigh.

“Adrian… you have been a shy little bean ever since we first met. It was clear as day that you have fancied Cullen since before the rest of us knew you. The same goes for him! All he ever does around you is smile, blush and laugh at all your silly little jokes and otherworldly mannerisms. Have you seen the way he talks about you to others? The way he watches you? Protects you? How his eyes soften, and his smile and entire vision faces you directly whenever you walk into a room? And how he yells with his deep manly gruff, at others for looking at you in any other way besides friendly glances? You clearly are his world and the both of you need to just talk already, it’s making us mad.”

Hands-on his hips, Adrian rolled his eyes with a disarrayed smile.

“I… well, that’s…umm… what, wait… umm…that’s just fantastic to know… and all… but that does not answer my question? Why did you kiss me?” Adrian asked with a shy smile.

“Bloody hell! You are blunt as a… fine, I’ve wanted to do that from the moment I first heard you speak! Your accent is adorable, and you are just… delightful and beautiful in every single way and I… I just wanted to see you smile and make you feel wanted and safe, just like the way you make me feel...”

Dorian ended softly, looking like a tomato all over again.

With his jaw completely handing loose, Adrian was stunned into silence.

“I… look, you are my closest friend here in the south and I may have developed a little infatuation or as you say… a _small_ crush. What you did for me, coming to Redcliff to see my… the excuse of a father to put it simply. I can never repay you for helping me that day Adrian. Truly, this kiss is something I’ve wanted to do since that woeful day, to make up for all the stupid remarks and unfair treatments you have received in this world. That was a thank you kiss and… a test.”

Smiling brightly and then frowning after hearing the word ‘test’, Adrian opened his mouth to respond before being rudely interrupted again.

“Ah, ah, ah! I was not done, you passed both parts of that test and that makes me so proud!” Dorian stated with a sarcastic fake tear wipe.

“One, you are a natural at kissing and that moan! My goodness! I’m surprised you didn’t feel my _‘large’_ hard length on your thigh! That right there is a man’s weakness! Moan into Cullen and he’s yours. Two, you pushed me away, I’m not sure why, but something clicked in that little, scientific, smart head of yours and that makes me very excited. Clearly, I did not remind you of the Commander… oh dear, I’m _fashionably_ slow! You’ve kissed him before!”

Dorian stated as if all truths were revealed to him in this very moment of time.

Turning five shades red himself for what felt like the hundredth time this morning, Adrian tried to lie but failed miserably.

“WHAT!? No… nope, no…I don’t know what you're talking about… I’ve never kissed Cullen before? Why would you even say that?”

Laughing in delight, Dorian continued his interrogation.

“You are good at many things little mage but lying is not one of them! Clearly, something triggered you… was it the moustache? No… oh it was me! My smell! It was my perfume, too floral and _sweet_ for you?”

He stated with another flirty wink and a deeper voice.

“Dorian… how did you even guess that? Okay fine, yes you just… smelt different, sorry that sounds rude. But you are right, it wasn’t the same…”

Frowning and letting out a fake shocked breath, Dorian continued to annoy Adrian.

“Ha! I knew it! Ser Rutherford snatched you up and devoured – “

Dorian was cut off as the library door was rudely smashed open with a fast pace of urgency. Both mages turned around with shocked faced to find Cassandra looking pale and out of breath, a sickening look appeared to radiate out of her being.

“Cass? What’s wrong? What happened!?”

Adrian asked in concern.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you! It’s about the Commander. Dorian I must ask you to leave, this is a private matter between Adrian and me.”

Cassandra stated in a harsh attitude full of control and order. Her sassy fascinating accent made her request sound harsher than it would otherwise.

“Excuse me, ‘ _Seeker’_ , I don’t think now is the time to sass me away when obviously there is an emergency, tell us what’s going on?”

Dorian fought back with a hand on his hip, wanting to hear the gossip of the day.

Letting out her usual sound of disgust, a loud “UGH!” which would send most people around her running for their lives, Cassandra continued harshly.

“Out Dorian! There is no ‘ _emergency’_.”

Shaking his head in annoyance, Dorian mumbled to himself angrily stomping towards the exit, turning around at the last second to face Adrian and Cassandra.

“See you later little cutie, thank you for the _gift._ ”

Dorian winked in his usually flirtatious manner with a slight pink hue still plastered on his face as he walked out of the library at a fast pace, closing the large wooden door behind him.

Trying not to blush when Cassandra raised a dark eyebrow at his direction, Adrian asked again what was going on to change the subject.

“What… umm… what is going on Cass? You said you’ve been looking for me and that it’s about the Commander?”

“Yes, I… I’ve felt completely sick with dread and sorrow ever since we left the Winter Palace. What I told you that night near the balconies… the night you missed out on your dance with the Commander because of me. You were right. I was selfish, bad-mannered, biased and bigoted to even suggest such a notion… I let you down, as your friend, I let you down. I broke your faith with my unfair expectations of the Commander and you. I have no right to tell anybody who they should and shouldn’t love, no matter their sex.”

Looking down with tears in her eyes, Cassandra dropped to her knees, her steel plates clunking on the wooden floor to look up into Adrian’s eyes wholly.

“Adrian, I take back what I said, I was not in my right mind to think a woman, our inquisitor, would be better for Cullen. I’ve thought this over and over these past few weeks and all I could see every day at sunrise and night before I slept was your broken face in my mind. A face I caused that evening, a face I caused with my stupid narrow-minded disputes.”

Eyes wide open in shock Adrian stood still in surprise not sure how to respond.

“I… see you still don’t fully trust me, Adrian please accept my apology, the possibility of two men falling into romantic feelings Is not as rare as one might believe. It happens across Thedas… it is occasional, but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Many see it as off-putting, or wrong in some situations… but the Maker is wise, and I see no faults if he wishes for love to grow between two men or woman. I was… selfish and unfair, I hoped Cullen could find a normal comfort and love with the herald. When she told me, she treasured the Commander in a starry-eyed way, the gorgeous romantic image was trapped in my mind like a dreamy novel. I did not want to remove it and in doing so I pushed them together and… I caused my friend heartbreak in the process.”

Smiling slightly with pain in his heart, Adrian looked into her teary walnut hazel eyes.

“Look… Cass… what’s done is done, I don’t blame you for questioning my motives, I don’t blame you for what you said… even if it hurt to hear it. You are right… clearly, Quinn and Cullen like… well… love each other… I saw them dance romantically and then… and then share a kiss on a secluded balcony at the Winter Palace, if he is happy then… that’s it.”

Sighing with a deep saddening breath as he watched Cassandra’s mouth open at the revelation to protest, he continued.

“You are right Cass… I shouldn’t be with a man who’s from another world, I shouldn’t try and fall in love with anyone here if it means breaking their heart if I ever get the chance of finding a way back home at some point in the foreseeable future. You’re right… that would be selfish of me. Look, there is a saying from my world, ‘sometimes if you love someone, you have to let them go…’ It’s the right thing to do. I don’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have, I need to grow up, and care for my best friend the only way I know-how. To get over my stupid feelings and put his first for once.”

Shooting up as if she received an electric shock, Cassandra jumped from her kneeled position on the floor and paced the library in anger.

“You… you love him!?” Cassandra cried in disbelief, her eyes widened in shock as she placed her hands across her gaping mouth.

“Oh, maker please forgive me!” She begged.

 _Maybe telling Cassandra that I love Cullen was a bad idea._ Adrian thought to himself before slightly turning is head right towards the window as shouting could be heard from below. Thinking nothing of it, he decided to convince Cassandra otherwise.

“Cass – “  
  
“NO! No! Do not continue that line of thought, Adrian! I know I said those words, I know they have true meaning, I know I placed doubt in your heart, but they are unwise. Adrian… I’ve never seen Cullen more relaxed and himself around anyone but you. You always put his happiness first before your own. So, don’t try and act all heroic by saying you don’t, because it’s not a good look. The way you care for him… the way you ‘ _love’_ him when he’s having a bad time with his withdrawals… or when he is lonely, stressed, tired… you calm him down completely, I’ve never seen him in such a way, so much bliss and happiness and love…”

“Cassandra – “

“No! I won’t hear any more excuses, Adrian! You make him smile, laugh, blush, and calm, he’s a changed man because of you. Your kindness, composure, passion, empathy and now love are remarkable, for him to fall in love with a mage… that should tell you something.”

Eyes wide in confusion and panic running through his veins, Adrian responded tensely.

“Cass… he does not love me? Not in that way, it’s impossible! Why would you even tell me something like that!? Please… don’t try and fill my head with fake positivity… not on this topic. I’ve seen the way he and Quinn act around each other, okay? They love each other. End of story.”

“Why are you so terrified of the possibility of Cullen loving you? He does love you, Adrian! And now I know you love him back! I’ve seen it! All he ever does is talk about you. You both shared a small romantic past in Kirkwall no? Why is it different now?”

Cassandra stated bluntly in her expected tactless explanations as if wording this deep secret alone would convince Adrian otherwise.

Jaw-dropping in mortification, Adrian gawked at Cassandra in anger.

“Excuse me!? How… how the hell do you know about that!? That’s private Cassandra!”

Sighing miserably, Adrian continued.

“It was clearly nothing ‘ _romantic’_ Cass… I was a prisoner locked up in a vile, disgusting fortress full of religious bigotry, dogma, racism and violence of all kinds. You have no idea what it was like! It was just a boiling pot of stupid emotions, heated glances, arguments, depression and loneliness! I’ve never felt so alone and not human in my life… Cullen he… he helped me through it, just as I helped him through his own issues. It took us time, but… deep down he always cared about m-… us mages. He has a beautiful heart and deserves the best. Clearly, I can’t give him that.” 

Looking down and holding in his tears, Adrian walked away from Cassandra at a fast pace and sat back down in his favourite loveseat, picking up the book he left abandoned.

“If you don’t mind Cassandra, I could really just have some alone time right now… I just need to think over everything, if that’s okay with you?”

Crossing her arms in annoyance, Cassandra rolled her eyes as she let out a frustrated exhale of breath but smiled sadly at her un-Thedas friend.

“Of course, please just- “

Cassandra was cut off as the library door was offensively smashed open again that morning with a fast pace of urgency.

“Adrian, Seeker! You need to come with me now, It’s Cullen!”

Dorian yelled in panic, looking unusually pale and clueless.

Jumping off the loveseat in concern and throwing the book ancient in fright, Adrian questioned what was going on.

“What? Why? What happened!?”

“He and Quinn were playing their ‘ _lovely’_ chess game outside under the gazebo as you know. I went to watch the fine example of a chess match hoping to have a ‘ _fun’_ turn with the Commander himself, I was most excited to tease him about… well, you know what.” Dorian winked at Adrian and then continued at a fast pace.

“When suddenly, Cullen started looking more and more pale with a tinge of seaweed green. I asked what was wrong, but then out of nowhere he started shaking violently in a sickening manner and collapsed out of his seat onto the concrete!”

Placing his hand over his mouth in shock, Adrian asked Dorian to lead him to Cullen.

“Dorian… take me to him now! He needs his medicinal tea and I need to check signs of other, private matters!”

“I agree with Adrian! This is important, no more speaking, lead us!”

Cassandra shouted in panic. Clearly worried for her friend and the Commander of the Inquisition.

With one last worrying glimpse at each other, the three friends ran out of the library in a worrying fast pace towards a sick Commander.

* * *

 _**Location: Skyhold, Frostback Mountains, Thedas - Present** _ _  
**Time: 10:53 am**   
**Date: 5th Pluitanis 9:42 Dragon** _

* * *

With one last turn through the puzzling maze of stoned built hallways, lengthy stairs and heavy wooden doors. The worried Seeker and the two out of breath mages made it to the outdoor frosty gardens where the brilliant gazebo was proudly located.

“I don’t understand? You said the Commander collapsed here? Where is he!? Answer me _Tevinter_!”

Cassandra yelled in Dorian’s face, clearly very concerned and taking out her frustrations on him.

“Cassandra stop yelling at Dorian, he’s done nothing wrong!” Adrian proclaimed loudly looking at Cassandra in irritation.

“Dorian, you said he collapsed on the ground, here right? I swear I saw them here before you talked to me in the library earlier this morning.”

Adrian questioned and asked in a nervous but neutral tone.

Crossing his arms clearly annoyed at being yelled at, Dorian thought for a moment with his hand on his chin.

“Thank you, Adrian, it’s nice to know ‘ _someone’_ has their priorities straight…”

“Why you little! –“

Cassandra gritted her teeth in anger at the clear personal attack but was stopped before she could continue further.

“GUYS! Enough of this stupid bickering! Our Commander is missing and needs medical attention! Now… wait! Quinn was with him, right Dorian? I saw her playing chess with him before! Where is the Inquisitor? Where is Quinn -”

Adrian was interrupted when a welcomed snarky, deep voice entered their vicinity. His red chest hair blowing softly in the wind, on full display for everyone to see.

“Aussie, Seeker, Sparkler! What’s got you three in a staring match?”

The very short author and rouge questioned in curiosity as his little feet caught up to the bickering group of friends.

Eyeing the dwarf in annoyance Cassandra answered his inquiry bitterly.

“Ugh… Varric now is not the time for your immature names and propositions. We are looking for Cullen, he was here not long ago… but something serious has occurred and we need to find him right now. Have you seen him or the herald?”

Smiling in his usual sly manner, Varric responded.

“I did, in fact, see Boss shrieking for help as you Sparkler,” Varric said pointing to Dorian, “ran in the opposite direction. Your _‘lover’_ Tiny came not long after in a hurry and lifted Curly with his strong qunari arms to Curly’s private tower. Before they left, Tiny said Curly would be fine, he just needed some rest. What happened to him though? Why is he so exhausted?”

Varric asked in concern, a rare sight of worry displayed all over his facial features.

Ignoring Dorian’s blushing complexion to the word ‘ _lover’_ and acting before he could cause a scene. Adrian smiled in relief, bending down and hugged Varric tightly.

“Oh my god! Thank you Varric, that’s relieving news. He’s been a bit under the weather, I’ve heard, and I think Cullen’s not been sleeping very well ever since the Winter Palace ball. So, he probably collapsed under exhaustion… something Quinn promised me she would fix...” Adrian said with gritted teeth. “Anyways, I need to go help him. I will see you all later?”

“No problem Aussie. Helping my favourite little human is always a treat. Which reminds me, come down to the tavern later tonight? Let’s say an hour or so before midnight? We need to catch up! Seeker, Sparkler, your welcome to join us! Tonight’s on me.”

Smiling down at the dwarf, Adrian winked. “Of course! A free meal and a catch-up session with one of the best dwarfs in all of Skyhold? I’d be stupid not to.”

“Oh, you flatter me,” Varric stated with red cheeks.

Laughing, Adrian petted Varric head affectionally as he turned to Cassandra and Dorian.

“Looks like Cullen will be okay, I’m going to go make sure of that, but you two don’t need to come if you have other, more important priorities to attend to? See you both at the tavern this evening?” He stated directly, already knowing their answers.

“If that’s what’s been said, I’ll leave the expert do his job. You, Adrian, make sure ‘ _your’_ Commander gets some sleep.”

Dorian winked, bowed and laughed seeing Adrian’s blush at the words he used.

Sighing, Cassandra agreed.

“I agree with Dorian if he’s just exhausted its healthier if less of us come in rushing in all flamboyant and concerned. Adrian, make sure our Commander is in top shape, that’s an order. If there is something amiss please come and find me near the barracks, alright? Oh, I’ll get a scout to call the herald down to me, so she can leave you and Cullen alone. You both deserve some time, alone… to talk.”

Wiggling his dark, plucked eyebrows, Dorian winked at Adrian as he walked back towards the library, sassily.

“Have fun with _‘your’_ Templar, Adrian.”

Crossing his arms in annoyance and with a huff, Adrian responded. “Will you stop saying that! You’re so infuriating!”

Giggling, Cassandra blushed when she noticed Adrian staring at her in shock.

 _Did Cass just giggle? What world is this?_ Adrian thought in shock at what was just displayed in front of him.

“You heard nothing…” Cassandra threatened, as her face scrunched in a pink, defensive hue. While she walked at a fast pace towards the barracks, leaving Adrian alone.

 _Well… I guess it’s time to finally go talk to Cullen. I hope he’s okay._ Adrian thought with worry.

* * *

 _**Location: Skyhold, Frostback Mountains, Thedas - Present** _ _  
**Time: 11:15 am**   
**Date: 5th Pluitanis 9:42 Dragon** _

* * *

Walking back into the enormous, warm castle and out again. Across the large, freezing stone bridge that leads to Cullen’s private tower. Took longer than usual for Adrian. He was dreadfully lost in his thoughts full of worry for his close friend, specifically his health and wellbeing.

_What caused him to collapse? Could it be just a bad non-sleeping schedule? Is he taking the medicinal tea I made for him? Is he stressed? In pain? Is he getting worse with his withdrawal? Has his nausea come back again? Is he resting and drinking water? Is he eating?_

_Gosh… I hope he’s not getting worse._

_This is my fault… I let my feelings push me away from him like a senseless little teenager with a broken jealous heart. Instead of looking after his stupid, stubborn arse... I need to help him from now on Adrian! No matter what my feelings are towards the idiotic fool!_

Adrian mentally forced himself to believe this rational statement.

Cullen’s health, happiness and friendship would come first from now on. What worried Adrian though, was the possibility of his love cracking through this façade, not only ruining Cullen’s new-found ‘Romantic’ relationship with the Inquisitor but also ruining his friendship entirely with the Commander.

There was also the possibility of Quinn’s threat coming to life, the exact threat Adrian discussed with Dorian an hour ago. Which would undoubtedly put Adrian in mortal danger.

 _I should have told Dorian the entire threat… I don’t like keeping it to myself but… it’s safer this way._ Adrian thought with concern and dread of what the future may hold.

Not looking where he was travelling as he was lost in thought. Adrian walked right into Cullen’s large wooden door head first, harshly waking him out of his thoughts.

“Ow… bloody hell!”

Adrian shouted out loud in irritation, pressing his right hand against his forehead to suppress the pain in annoyance, before taking a step back in caution.

_He’s most likely going to be in there? Hopefully resting… oh my gosh, I hope ‘queen herald suck up’ has left… I really don’t need to see her all over him right now._

_Adrian! Get it together! Who cares if she is in there! This is Cullen we are talking about, annoying, brutish, smartass, dickhead, stupid, cute, idiot Cullen… ‘_ Sigh, _’ … I have it bad._

Taking in one deep calming breath after wiggling his arms around his body to calm his nerves. Adrian knocked on the frost-covered hardwood door three times and announced his presences.

“Commander!? It’s Adrian, may I come inside your office!?” He yelled out loud, timidly. Expecting to hear nothing after practically abandoning Cullen for so long. He was shocked to hear a reply.

“Adrian? Is that y - you? Of course, you may enter… I’m just upstairs.” Cullen replied in an unusual stuttered, muffled, manner. His voice echoed out of the second-story window with his adorable deep British (or Common… Adrian still preferred to call it British) sounding accent, which drove Adrian’s stomach up the wall with tingles.

Trying not to smile, Adrian turned the freezing handle on the frosty, heavy door and pushed it forward with all his strength.

_Ugh… does he have to sleep in this annoying tower? Honestly, why would anyone want to climb a ladder every time they want to go to bed?_

Adrian questioned in confusion, while shivering, as he closed the heavy door behind him, locking out the cold winter breeze as his body adjusted to the blistering room, he now found himself in.

Looking around the overly warm but homey office, brought many emotions and feelings into Adrian’s mind and heart, both a mixture of joyfulness, unhappiness and nostalgia.

The room screamed Cullen, everything in here reminded Adrian of him, from the huge expansive bookshelves filled to the brim with rustic leather books and tomes from across Thedas.

The large strong wooden oak desk lying in the middle of the office toppled with unusual messy notes, reports, scrolls and novels that were obviously not complete. Even the red statement chair behind the desk expressed authority and expertise.

The colour palette of the room itself and the textures and aromas protruded his lightened senses, they all screamed Ser Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford.

It had been around four weeks since he last stepped foot in here and this was causing a mixture of nervousness to rupture into butterflies inside his stomach. This made Adrian want to follow is flight instincts and dash in the complete opposite direction he just arrived from.

_I need to be brave, Cullen needs his close ‘friend’ right now, and that’s what I shall be._

Taking in one last look around the office he treasured. Adrian latched onto the creaky wooden ladder with his bare hands and started to climb slowly, one wooden handle at a time.

Taking in a deep breath and a loud exhale halfway with his eyes shut tight was essential as Adrian was awfully afraid of heights. Climbing ladders was never something he would have done back on Earth, but remembering Cullen was in definite pain, allowed him to move upward without looking down.

His goal was in reach.

With one last pull up and a strong push with his right hand, the hatch door on the ceiling opened, and Adrian’s head appeared above the dusty opening of the second floor. His glossy eyes landed on the large king-sized bed, which lay in the middle of the room. Its white expensive silky sheets were scattered all over it in messy layers as if someone kicked and rolled in them aggressively.

What intrigued Adrian though was the outline of a large muscular body underneath the widespread soft modern blanket. ‘ _His’_ modern blanket from Target, which was on sale for half the price online at the time of purchase.

“Cullen? How are you feeling? “Adrian questioned softly, laced with worry as his small feet landed on the quite dirty wooden floorboards of Cullen’s bedroom.

_My gosh… his room is a mess, has he not been cleaning in here? Wouldn’t the cleaning staff have done something by now? My god, this is my fault… why did I leave him alone?_

_Quinn has been with him though… surly she would have done something? Ugh… stop thinking about that annoying woman, Adrian!_

The only reply given was a painful groan and a rough parched cough, breaking Adrian’s track of thought.

Watching cautiously as his fluffy, grey wool blanket moved slightly. Cullen’s never unkempt blond curls and sickly, sweaty pale complexion came into view.

Seeing Cullen in discomfort always twisted Adrian’s stomach into uncomfortable knots, especially when he found out recently that Cullen had stopped taking his Lyrium supply months ago. Which of course, could cause serious harm or possible death in the near future, if he was not careful or getting any better. This always brought out the instinctive worried ‘ _parental, teacher figure’_ inside of him as he rushed over to Cullen’s side in concern.

 _Oh my god… he looks awful, his under eyes are so dark… has he not been sleeping? He must be in so much pain._ Adrian assumed with worry.

“Oh, Cullen! Why did you not ask me for help sooner? You look so ill! Let me see if you have a fever okay? I’m just going to touch your forehead with my hand, no magic, I promise.”

Adrian stated carefully as he sat on the soft bed knowing full well Cullen still had magic trust issues when not asked for permission of use. Smiling kindly as he lightly brushed Cullen’s damp curls away from his forehead. Adrian placed his small cool hand where the blond curls once rested.

Without any protest and smiling back as much as he could, Cullen replied looking up at Adrian with a soft almost faint expression.

“Adrian… it’s good to see you, I… I’ve missed you. Have you been sound this past month?”

Blushing slightly at the thought of Cullen missing him. Adrian tried to pretend everything was fine and in doing so, flustered into a long tangent.

“Cullen, I’m… well, I mean, I’m doing okay? Obviously, I’m never going to be at my best in this world, but I’m doing my part. Working with the healers and apostates in the apothecary has been not only rewarding but also super interesting! Passing on modern medical and scientific knowledge that I have from home should help a little? Even if I’m always looked down upon… I keep getting the feeling others don’t trust me or believe what I say half the time, which is quite disheartening if I may say… My gosh, enough about me though! It does feel like you have a fever, Cullen. How are you? How are you feeling?”

Chuckling with a bright rare smile which always brought out his cute dimples. Cullen sluggishly placed his large right hand gently in between Adrian’s exposed creamy, soft neck and left shoulder. While his callus finger carefully but surly traced against his neck at a tender pace as he looked into the young man’s eyes with trust and a hint of something else.

This something else and the feeling of Cullen’s warm finger on his body caused Adrian to tense up with nerves as his neck hairs rose with goose-bumps.

“Please don’t ever change Adrian, your fast-nervous tongue and the endless amount of words that come out of that mouth of yours with the simplest of questions never gets dull. You care too much for your own good you know?”

Moving his now wet hand away from Cullen’s forehead and wiping it against his shirt. Adrian smiled bashfully as he swiftly dashed off the bed in a hurry to prepare Cullen’s medicinal tea, losing Cullen’s tender touch in the process.

“Cullen… praising me with compliments… and doing whatever you were just doing, is not going to make me magically forget why I’m here.” Adrian responded firmly as he looked for his tea pouches which were most likely inside Cullen’s cabinet.

“Thank you though… it’s nice to hear you think of my quirks that way… I always feel like I’m annoying or too hyper or loud.”

Adrian turned around to see Cullen staring at him with dark honey eyes, a look he’d not seen in a while. Flushing red in complexion at the look Cullen was throwing his way, Adrian turned back around and continued opening jars inside the largest wooden cabinet in the room, hoping his flustered appearance was not noticed. 

Cullen let out a large sigh as he rubbed his neck with his hand in embarrassment at being caught staring at Adrian’s backside. His own thoughts fighting him with logic as he laid back down onto his pillow as a wave of bitterness washed over him.

_Maker’s Breath… what is wrong with me? I’m with Quinn now, I can’t look at my close friend this way… not again… never again… it’s wrong… he’s a man._

_But I miss him…_

_So what? That does not give me permission to touch him without asking or to stare at him inappropriately while he is wasting his time looking after me. I’m pathetic. I don’t deserve his generosity. I’m fine._

_I’m not fine…_

_Why does his presence affect me so?_

_It’s been a long month without him, I’ll get over this._

_It’s more than that… why lie?_

_Be quiet!_

“Adrian… look… I’m sorry…” Cullen mumbled. “I did not mean to make you uncomfortable in my presence. I won’t lie, it has been quite lonely without you these last few weeks… I’m quite uncomfortable suggesting this but it is the truth. I’ve missed you, I missed your smile, your laugh, your positive outlook on life… I miss my best friend... and I feel sick as a dog.”

Flushing red in mortification at the words that came out of his mouth, Cullen lifted Adrian’s odd but soft blanket over his head.

“And why are you hiding?” Adrian asked in confusion, chuckling at his friend’s odd behaviour. “What you said was sweet, thank you for caring about me Cullen, it means a lot. And right back at you, I’ve missed you too.”

Adrian watched Cullen’s messy blond head slowly poke back out of the blanket as he added the medicinal tea leaves into a jug of water. Minutes went by in awkward silence as Adrian boiled the jug with Cullen’s fire rune and infused his light magic’s healing capabilities as an extra kick.

“So… ah… you missed me too?” Cullen finally responded it a timid tone.

Looking up from the steaming pot of tea, Adrian beamed his way with his profound gleam of kindness, pouring a large cup of the tea for Cullen to drink.

“Of course! Cullen, you’re my one true best friend here in Thedas, why the heck would I not miss you? We have been through so much together, I trust you completely. I understand that you are going through a lot right now, but that does not excuse the fact that I left you alone while you have been struggling… I’m so sorry.”

Gritting his teeth in pain as his migraine grew worse, Cullen lifted his head to look directly into Adrian’s eyes.

“Adrian… I’m not… weak, I don’t need you to aid me through this. Do not apologise, understand? You have your reasons and labour, I completely understand that looking after me is a detriment to your time.”

With an eyebrow risen in absolute confusion at what he was hearing, Adrian sat back down on the bed, carefully placing the edge of the hot cup near Cullen’s mouth, anchoring it to the right angle to allow him to take a sip.

“We will continue our conversation in a second, but can you take a sip, please? It’s quite hot so be careful. I added some honey to sweeten it for you, just as you like your regular tea. Because if I remember correctly… ‘ _someone’_ , went on a tangent for it being too bitter last time.” Adrian responded sassily.

Adrian chuckled at the memory, as he watched Cullen take a slow deep sip of the steaming violet liquid while giving him a death glare in return. “Ouch! Maker’s Balls! Adrian, that’s bloody boiling! But… mmm… that’s good…” His frowned expression and rough breathing swiftly warped into a peaceful rhythm with the blink of an eye. This calmed Adrian down, knowing his tea was already having a positive effect on his breathing and temperature, greatly improved his mood.

Removing the wonky cup from Cullen’s now red lips and placing it onto the bedside table. Adrian turned his attention back to Cullen to continue their conversation as he helped him lay down, guiding his head softly onto his pillow and tucking him in his sheets.

“Cullen? Now, what in the world were you talking about previously? First, don’t go down this I’m not weak and don’t need any help as I’m a tough, ‘ _strong’_ , man, with a brick head of stubbornness. You are human, you are a person, just like me and everyone else who gets sick, and sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. Okay? I don’t want to hear any more of these downgrading remarks from you. You are amazing and absolutely brilliant at what you do and I’m so proud of you, but even the strongest of soldiers need time off to heal and get better -”

“Ad…rian…” Cullen stated in distress, cutting Adrian off.

His pained, teary honey eyes locked with grey-blue. “’ _Maker’_ , please can… can you give me that head massage you do? Please, I beg you… my… my head, it’s… it’s killing me. And you may use your magic… I… I can’t concentrate I’m sorry, please don’t think I’m weak.” He begged.

Adrian watched in shock, he’d never seen or heard Cullen request for help in so much agony expressed in his tone of voice before. His own eyes teared up at the thought of this tired, precious man whose life has been nothing more than a shit show, time and time again. And now in an era where he wants to turn that pain around… change his life for the best and become a better man. He’s dumped with more excruciating pain.

_It’s just not fair._

Trying to hold it together for Cullen’s sake, Adrian swapped his position as he crawled onto the bed. He sat on his knees next to Cullen’s bulky body, slowly and cautiously leaning over him as he rubbed small circles with slight pressure against Cullen’s burning temples.

Concentrating with all his might to bring forth his light magic once again took a strong amount of willpower and energy.

Even with all his wisdom and smarts, Adrian still struggled to grasp his full identity as a mage, making it hard to sometimes even cast simple spells. The idea and notion behind magical performance still confused him and because his magical class was beyond rare, this, in turn, caused Adrian to use a lot of excess energy, tiring him mentally and physically faster than most mages in Thedas.

Watching Cullen look at him in pain was breaking his heart, thinking fully about mending that pain made it easier for Adrian to guide his unique magic out of his body and into Cullen’s. The thought of helping someone, especially someone he cared for, always seemed to take the pressure off his taxing magical usage.

With that thought travelling through his entire being, a blinding, glistening, white glow erupted out of his palms, covering the entire room with a warm, fluttering flash of star-like sparkles.

Needing a better angle to quickly get his magic through Cullen, without a second thought at the intimate position he was about to get himself into. Adrian decided to stretch his left leg over Cullen’s body, straddling the man as he grabbed his blond head like a large ball and massaged his scalp with tenderly movements but firm fingertips. 

Adrian observed closely as he massaged through Cullen’s curly locks, his deep worry for his close friend slowly turned into comfort and then complete bashfulness. He noticed Cullen’s frown altered from pain into a peaceful pleasure.

At first, Adrian was fine with the little whimpers and slight moans Cullen was letting fall out of his mouth, those were completely fine as it gave him contentment that he was doing a decent job.

However, when he accidentally dragged his short, trimmed nails behind Cullen’s ear, his magical essence warped the pain out of existence turning this innocent gesture of comfort into something entirely wicked. The large muscular and very attractive commander, who was now pinned under him, which was already kinky enough, made the deepest and most erotic moan he’d ever heard in his entire life.

Adrian stared down at the man wriggling under him with eyes wide open in shock and cheeks blushing red. In a moment without hesitation, he decided to try and massage that location one more time. Just to make sure what he was hearing and seeing was possible.

 _Is Cullen enjoying this? Could Cassandra be right?_ Adrian thought as his heart pounded repeatedly in a hurried adrenalin state.

Moving his pulsating magical fingers back behind Cullen’s sensitive ears, he again dragged his fingertips alongside them all the way down his neck. The hypothetical kinky moan Adrian was expecting to hear was completely underrated.

Adrian inhaled in disbelief as Cullen whimpered and groaned even brasher. Not even moments later, Adrian let out an embarrassing small shriek in shock. Flushing crimson as he covered his mouth with his left hand as he felt Cullen grab his waist pleasantly firm with his large strong hands.

Forcefully pressing Adrian down instinctively onto his clearly stiff region as he rolled his hips upwards to feel the pressure he appeared to need from Adrian’s body.

“Um… Cullen?” Adrian asked softly, slicing the clumsy, erotic moment with his words and replacing it with awkwardness as he looked down at Cullen bashfully. “So… I’d say you’re feeling ‘ _much’_ better as your actions and… ah… bold… um… that body part of yours… that’s poking my butt clearly states that I should… get off now...” Adrian whispered clumsily.

Red-faced with mortification at his actions, Cullen tried his best to ease the thick tension. “Maker… Adrian… I… I’m so sorry, this is completely mortifying. This is beyond inappropriate, I… I don’t know what came over me. I… it felt…”

“ _Good_?” Adrian smiled finishing off Cullen’s sentence for him. Biting his lip to stop himself from laughing.

“Bloody hell…” Cullen whispered to himself, removing his hands swiftly off Adrian’s body as if he was hazardous.

“Look, Cullen… as long as you're feeling much healthier… I… look I don’t mind what happened, we did nothing wrong. I accidentally touched a part of you that clearly turns you on and that’s my fault.” Adrian stated clearly as if that was the only reason for his erotic reaction.

“Adrian… you… you… ah… you… also sat on my… my… ah… private region… why would you do that?” Cullen questioned in confusion but instead, it came out much blunter than he hoped.

Frowning Adrian replied. “So? I did it to get a better angle to fix your migraine, I did not do it on purpose. If that’s what you're trying to suggest?” Adrian responded harshly, guarding his feelings.

“Look, Adrian, I’m sorry that came out wrong… I don’t mind you sitting on my lap…” Cullen stated quickly trying to stop this situation turning into an argument and instead stated the truth.

“What did you just say?” Adrian whispered in surprise, his entire face glowing in a red hue.

Eyes comically wide and jumping out of the bed in shock, Cullen screamed. “NO! I did not mean to say that! Adrian, please don’t read into this? Please? You just tried to help… end of story.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Adrian smirked and responded. “Okay… ‘ _Mr. likes my butt and gets turned on’_ I will pretend this did not happen.

Running over to the other side of the bed, Cullen grabbed Adrian’s shoulders in a frantic like state. “Please, Adrian! Stop! This did not happen… okay?” Cullen asked with a hurt expression. “We are good right? We can still be good friends?” Cullen asked shily, the hurt still present in his eyes.

Looking up with a sad smile and touching Cullen’s cheek with a soft caress, Adrian replied. “Of course, we are. Why would this change that? Look, Cullen – “

Adrian was cut off when Cullen’s door downstairs was harshly unlocked with a loud bang.  
“Cullen!? Are you feeling better? I fetched some lunch to eat from the kitchens. I hope you like tomato soup!” Quinn’s sweet voice yelled from down below.

Eyes wide in mortification at just noticing Cullen’s completely unclothed body almost pressed against his. Adrian jumped away from Cullen, covering his eyes. “Cullen! Oh my god! Cover yourself before she comes up here!” Adrian whispered loudly.

Scrambling to find something to wear. Cullen swiftly pulled his undergarments off the corner of his bed. Sadly, trying to put on clothes at a fast pace was not Cullen’s finest skill.

Misplacing his foot, Cullen yelped as he tripped and faceplanted the floor.

All Adrian could do was stare in horror towards the trap doors opening, as Quinn’s spotless brown hair and dumbfounded expression came into view.

Seeing your rival and your boyfriend in his bedroom together. As said boyfriend was naked with his arse facing the air was not the best place to be found.

 _We are so fucked…_ Adrian presumed, feeling faint.


End file.
